Forgive and forget; that's something that I've learned to do towards everyone, including him. I've forgiven Greg for all that happened last summer and forgotten all he did already. He cheated on me? When? See, I forgot about it!
So today, while riding on my mom's car with Hachiko, I had an über serious talk with her and told her the truth. Okay, let me get to the point but first tell you the whole deal about my mother's now almost failed "Anti Greg Wilson" campaign. When I told her in September of last year that we were speaking again, she flipped and did a 360 cartwheel! The first thing she ever said was "I don't want to see him at my house!" Not only this, but she did said that if he was ever on the road with car problems she would find a way to help him. Now, when he called me asking me if it was possible for my mother to put a good word at Universal Studios Orlando Resort, where she works, she actually flipped again and said a flat out NO! Contradiction? FUCK YEAH! Well, here are the breaking news of the day; she is willing to see Greg, IF Greg comes up with a honest, heart-felt apology to my parents!
So one of my birthday presents was getting back my text messages. I can text now and recieve texts. I text Greg throughout the afternoon to let him know the news. After a while I stopped texting and he called me and asked me what was going on. I let him know EXACTLY what my mom said, he most come up with an apology, nothing forced, to come back again into "the circle of trust." He already is basically in the circle number 2; the one formed by me and my friends, but the biggest one is the one with my family. Say he never comes in and we get married; our marriage will be a LIVING HELL if we don't have the trust of my parents.
It will be über hard to please my mother, at least for him at the moment. We are not planning to rush our relationship, but if we want to have it as healthy as it was in March, when my parents were alright with our decisions and whatever we would do, he has to show progress to me, my parents and my friends.
Yesterday was another thing. He texted me asking me if I was home alone. Of course, I knew what he wanted, a good fuck, but I wasn't. I was at the mall having a belated celebration of my birthday with all my close friends. Cristina took me to Build-A-Bear where I built a Hello Kitty. She is so cute; well both Cristina and my Kitty. Her name is Aiko and she plays a message "we love you Saki-chan!" Saki-chan is my Japanese nickname. My friends calls me Murasaki because I like the color Purple. Murasaki is Japanese for Purple. Damn, I think I said this in my last entry. Sorry if I am repeating it. Well, to be absolute honest and to continue talking about Greg and what not, Cris read what he wrote and questioned our relationship; me and G's. Yes, I admit that all the times we've seen each other in secret we have been having sex, but that doesn't mean that we are 100% rushing things. He does loves me; even if he can't say it right now because like he said "his feelings for me are slowly coming back again," he is not afraid to show that he loves me. He was the VERY FIRST person to call me to wish me a Happy Birthday last Saturday. Not only did he called me at 1:00 am on Saturday but he also called me 24 hours after to see how my birthday went. He remembered that I spent his actual 20th birthday with him and felt like it was only fair to call me since there are differences between him and my mother.
I hope it all gets resolved with a really good outcome. I won't have to be hidding anything anymore and I will not be faking a smile anymore.
Another thing that was absolutely right was what my friend Nikki said to my friend Lauren and I so WISHED that Cris and Corie would have been there to listen to what she said. Nikki and I have been best friends for 10 years. That's just about the same amount of years that I've been in Florida from Puerto Rico. Cris and I have been friends for about 5 years. Anyway, she said something that is absolutely true. She can recall of only TWO TIMES IN MY LIFE, where she has seen me happy, and both times involves Gregory Alan Wilson! The first was in 2002 when we met and became girlfriend and boyfriend for the first time. The second time was when we reunited in March of last year. I've always said this and I keep saying it; I have two saviors; Jesus Christ and Greg. Jesus is my spiritual Savior while Greg is my Earthly Savior. He has brought happiness to me, some suffering but I've forgotten about that, and an immense abundance of love. Thinking of him and our daughter Angel who passed away due to a miscarriage I had in 2002 was what allowed me to live again when I attempted suicide in 2003. Yes, I did saw the tunnel and Christ, but he wasn't alone, my daughter was in his arms, but it was thinking and wishing for the moment I had in March what kept me alive.
I am here thanks to so many people, God, Christ, my family, my friends, Angel and of course, Greg. What will I do without them?
I invite you to visit my blog. you can find my last works of art at:
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yours Claudio Tomassini
I have so much to say, but so little time, so I think when I get home from work, I'll a blog. It has nothing to do with you and G, but in fact a lot to do with you and me. I've already told you, this year I'm through with hating G. I want things to work out and I want us to all be friends, remember my one blog ? Read it again in case you forgot! I just want to know where he stands and what he wants. I don't care if he says the l word. I don't care if he feels it either. Because it takes time to regain the same trust and feelings as before. Time only mends broken hearts. All I want to know is that the relationship is not just a booty call because honey you are more than a hot piece off ass, you are a girl with immense class and deserve a real, honest to goodness boyfriend who makes not only you happy, but everyone who wants you to be happy too. And honestly, I do hope it's Greg, because I know how much he means to you, so please do not misunderstand me, or you're other true friends. Friends are not measured in length of time knowing one another, but in amount of love given. So think about before you question our friendship Saki-chan, because you really hurt my feelings. I am there for you more than anyone else is, no matter what the decision is even after the disasters we have been through (Ana+Mia, practically all of last year,the break-up, the distance, the Daytona Beach disaster, and more). I'M STILL HERE! And will always be here. I never hold anything against you, I just remember and move on, but I have been hurt so many times by you and yet, I still remain true, as I said before friendship is not measured by time, but by love. If I didn't love you, I wouldn't still be your friend, I wouldn't have any heart to hearts with you and I wouldn't be upset when you can't hang out with us or other things like that, most importantly I wouldn't cry when you hurt me. So I guess I do not need the blog I guess I said all I needed to say in this comment. I'm just hurt that I am not considered your bestest bestie and I am hurt that you still think I am not on your side, because everything I do or say with or to you is always in your best interest, always because I care. Because to me, that is what best friends do, they always have your back, no matter what!!
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