Can't Get You Out of My Head

Sometimes I like to change the lyrics of this with "Can't Get Joe Out of My Head"... oh the beauty of having a crush, right? Whatever, I better be careful if I hear this song tomorrow since there is a high chance that I will be spending the whole day with him and my gang. Well, he is already becoming part of my gang. This is going to be a lot of fun and mom better not ruin it for me. I am going to try to stay at Cristina's on Saturday night also since we will be coming back home so late. I can't wait for all this fun to begin.

Just the thought of spending a whole day with my best friends at my favorite amusement park makes me extremely happy. I'm static! But at the same time, I'm a bit blank at thoughts.

There has been a lot of drama going on. First with people I thought they were my friends. Jani, Maya's ex girlfriend point her out on a myspace blog, a thing that no one should really do. I mean, it is hurtful and absolutely inconsiderate to do a thing like that. Then my no longer friend Lauren had to go and call MY BEST FRIEND a bitch. That right there is trouble for her. One, it shows that she is a hypocritical Christian, a two face and a backstabber and not only that but it also shows that she IS a bitch too. Takes one to know one you know?

Last, so, I haven't told you about this but I am absolutely over Greg. Last week, I think it was on the 18th, he called me and I told him clearly that I don't want to see him or speak to him for a while since I am really trying to get over him. I'm over him but last night I wasn't too sure about it. He called me yesterday asking me when I was going to be home alone. I told him that if it was for sex he could forget it. He wanted to talk but again I asked him if he had forgotten about all that I said before. I don't want to see him or speak with him for a while. Let me skipped to the part that made me angry and what hurt the most. He considers bullshit all that I said about me loving him and waiting for him. I did love him, I LOVED HIM FOR SIX FUCKING YEARS, but I am not one that is going to sit around and wait for him. I want to be with someone who will love me for myself. Love the quiet party trouble girl that I am and won't change me a bit. Like I told my best friend, I rather be with someone who will admit that he is a player than with someone who will deny it. Greg won't see in a million years that he is a player. He hurt me badly last summer when he promised me that he won't leave me for another woman and still did that. What hurt the most is how even after he called her a nobody he still defended her from my trash talk. And to top it all, he had the guts to hurt me even more when knowing that I still had strong feelings for him after our breakup he would tell me about all the hook ups he has been having. Oh yeah, something I left out, I am not the only girl who he has fucked without protection. There has been a few too. Fucking asshole. Hope his dick falls out or one of these bitches cuts it off. Well, he is no longer in my life and I am glad. I don't need him. Maybe I never did but I do damn the day and time I met him.

The worse part of all of this is that first, I couldn't look at Hachiko and Agatha for a while. I mean, I got those dogs when I was dating him and they remind me of him. Fucking sucks but what sucks more is that it all made me depressed. This is it, goodbye for probably forever. So what do I do when I am depressed? I cut. I have a few new ones on me and I just feel like shit. I mean it, I AM shit! But it was about time for us to part with closure. We had to say goodbye and end all of this. Now I am free to date anyone I please, as long as they end up being alright by my peers. I mean it, if my friends don't like the guy I date, my peers comes first, I will kick him to the curb.

This is a long rant, but a longer one will come this weekend. Later gator!