Another Letter

Dear Gregory:

Maybe these will be the words you never wanted to hear, words that I've had hidden inside of me for so long that I almost forgot to say, but even though I am friends with your new girl I have to let them out before it is too late. Last night at church was the hardest and most tearful night ever. I haven't cried as much as I did since the day you left me, PREGNANT with our daughter Angel. I bet you are glad she is dead! You don't miss her, you don't even remember that today would have been her birthday. No, you are so succumbed in your life and raising a baby with April and I am happy about that, but Angel is your first child, dead or alive she is your first baby. I've been going back and forward on how to say this, how to actually express this ANGER that I've had in me built up for almost 7 years. You hurt me! But not only me, you caused Angel to die! Had I had your guidance even if you were 14 at the time, I know she would have been here with ME since I know YOU didn't care of her. Even though she is dead I love her and it's about time that I say this to you; I will always love her more that I love you. In fact, you are more dead to me that she is. Dead and gone and rotting in hell. I know your girlfriend will the the one reading this but who gives! Maybe I want her to read it, it will show her who you really are. Maybe just to my eyes, but I am sure every other girl you've dated could say the same thing about you. You are the devil who is always attacking from the back. You are evil and I am not going to take this anymore. I'm done loving you. To be honest, since we were finally and officially over I haven't cried for you or felt love with you. You are just the same 14 year old boy I knew in the body of a 20 year old. I wish April luck on dealing with you as well as any other girl you may date, because I am not going back to you when things with her or any other girl gets tough. I applaud you for doing what you are doing with April, that's a truly generous thing of you to do, but WHY didn't you do the same to me the moment I was pregnant with YOUR child? It really hurts that you did this to me; dispose me when I needed you the most. You threw me out like garbage the day that I was going to tell you that you were going to be a father. How could you be so cruel to someone who loved you as much as I did? I wonder if you knew why I am writing this letter to you today. I told you what to day would have been about a year ago but in case you forgot here is all I can say; Happy Birthday Angel Christine Wilson! I am glad you never met your father, the asshole who over and over has shattered my heart and filled me with many evil thoughts. He is the reason I saw death a year and a few days after I miscarriaged you. I'm done with his kind; the heartless heart-stomping backstabbing players who pretend that they will not play a girl or hurt one and in the end they do. Goodbye to you Gregory, now and forever. My heart is now open again, to anyone but you. I wish you the best with April and whomever else you might be with. She knows you lied to us the other night on text. You told me not to tell her that you were awake but I did. Still a liar! I don't buy one bit what you told me two weeks ago. Nah, you don't love me! You never loved me one bit. You know what? If you did loved me, you would at least TRY to THINK about YOUR FIRST DAUGHTER ANGEL A LITTLE MORE!

Ellie